Looking forward to 2023!
Happy New Year! It’s that time of the year where energies and spirits are high , we’re all optimistic for a better year health-wise, mentally, relationship-wise, financially and career-wise.
It’s the same with me as I sit down to gather my thoughts on what 2023 should look like for me, what worked or didn’t work in 2022, what I can carry forward to 2023 and what needs to change from 2022. 2022 has given me and my family a gift in the form of our daughter Yuga. Yuga got to spend time with her grandparents while both me and my wife got to spend time with them , albeit with all the chaos of managing work and the baby.
I have tried setting goals in the past but never made it past a month of getting anything meaningful done. On the flip side, the few times I achieved something I didn’t have to wait for Jan 1st to get started. After experimenting different goal-setting techniques over a span of few years, I have come to learn a thing or two.
Regret Minimization
The way I plan to enter 2023 is to minimize regret. Let me explain what I mean by this. By 31st of Dec 2023, all of us will be a year older. Which means everybody I care about will be a year older. Me and my wife will be a year stronger, my daughter Yuga would’ve learnt to do so many things. While this gives me hope, I want to pause for a moment and define where I want to be personally at the end of this year. Once I define that, I can work my way backwards into setting goals or events that are important to me. To me, this helps approach every decision with clarity and priority.
Categorizing goals
At the end of 2023, where would I want to be. That’s a macro goal which doesn’t end up anywhere but the place I have written it. I need to break that down into categories & then define no more than 1 goal within each category. By that I mean, I’d like to save x amount of money / invest y amount of money. I want to be compassionate. I want to be happy - that starts from defining what happiness is for me. I want to travel to travel to a new place outside of US ( for example). Categorize where you want to be & what you want to do based on the following
Physical & Mental Health
Personal relationships
Financial
Career / Profession
Hobby
How many is too many?
Goals should not fill up your entire time-space, I believe that I need to leave some wriggle room to do things on-the-go. Once I defined goals for each category, I will prioritize what’s important. Don’t try to tackle too many goals at once. Achieving goals at a micro-level means making a few changes to our habits. Without the need for a change, I don’t need to set a goal - I’m probably already hitting those without any effort just by being myself.
I would say, start with one change if you have never made a major change. Add-on another one or two goals if you’ve cracked the code to change. I read Atomic Habits by James Clear sometime in 2018 before making my first change in lifestyle. It’s now been over 4 years since I started practicing Yoga ( with breaks in between of course, life has a way to snatch that little time away from you). Ever since, I believe I cracked the code to change, I just have to believe that I need to change something. Try James Clear's 30 Days to better habits free!
We’re humans after all and we co-exist in an environment of uncertainties. Lots of things happen around us : escalation at work, sickness to a close family member. Remember that the focus is on the process more than progress. If I skip a day or two, I’ll remember that it’s alright. Day 3 is when I resume.
Stages of change
In my opinion, for any change to happen one needs to go through the following stages.
Identify: This is to first know that yes I need to change this about myself. This goes in line with “You cannot change what you cannot measure”. Introspect and identify areas that need attention.
Accept: That the change needs to happen. Accepting comes with believing that the change is necessary.
Process: Curate a process that works for you to facilitate the change. There are a lot of resources online to help you create a process for yourself.
Time
Remember that time is the most important asset you can ever have! Use your time judiciously to do things you
Love - go on a date with your partner, go for walks, play a sport, binge a TV show.
Have to do - your responsibilities
Want to do - career progression, learn, relax
Combining my goals with my time will ensure I do what I love while making the most of my time!
Have a Happy New Year!